It's over. The transportation battle that's lasted nearly a year has ended. God is good, but God pushes. When God pushes, worlds move, lives change, and people are driven beyond the boundaries of what they thought they could endure into the realms of the beautifully impossible.
I am whiny by nature. I realize that I waste more time whining than I do watching cartoons, which is considerable. I know it must be trying for my friends to be around me sometimes, and it may not seem like it, but I control a great deal of the complaining I am naturally inclined to do. I was born to have a positive disposition, but things happen. Nevertheless, the strains of the last few months have gone beyond the realm of complaint. Eighty or ninety hour weeks at work, extra bills, and a snowfall of guilt left my knees buckling under pressure. Now, God is good, and provided me with a plethora of work opportunities as well as a lucrative and flexible permanent position, but the human psyche and body are fragile things. I spent most of my thirty minute drive to and from work begging God for grace, patience, and energy. The time I had alone with Him was priceless, and allowed me to see that He has spent the last nine months breaking me, melting me down, refining me, scraping off the impurities, and shining me up into something completely new, beautiful, and more reflective of Him.
Now, before I go any further, I've got to give credit where credit is due and say that because of a few key people in my life, I managed to get through the entire nine months of carlessness without having to rent, which was good because apparently for me renting a car is next to impossible without my liver, my firstborn child, a note signed by my mother, God, AND George Washington, and a live Rhysis Monkey in a golden cage.
This blog would like to thank:
Jennifer and David Berger, for retail car assistance, endless hours of chauffering, and the use of your car for a great many of those nine months.
Lisa Gonzalez, Tonya Chancey, and Corrie Moore, not only for the loan of each of your cars for a time, but also for your neverending prayers, emotional support, and astounding patience. Oh, and could one of you pick up some trash bags on your way home from the store?
Laura Matheny, you know what you did.
Julia and Exo Martinez; Exo, I know I probably took a few years off your life when I was driving your car, but it was greatly appreciated, and I promise I never drove carelessly.
Julia and Micah Sprague, you guys are the bomb. Thanks for giving me a chance to learn what it's like to drive a pickup. Dwight is the best!
I know I must be leaving people out. There are countless more that gave me rides, prayed me through hard days, and offered their cars for use but were never actually taken up on it. Thanking you would be damning you with faint praise. I can't count the number of times I would have given up without you all. There is no doubt in my mind that God put each one of you in my life because He delights in giving His children beautiful people to befriend. You are all beautiful, and I pray every day that I can find a way to bless you like you've blessed me.
"God is good, but I am weak. But God is good."
I said that last week when talking to my dad about my stress level. I know my parents have been worried for me, and I have no doubt that they've worn out the doors of God's Throneroom knocking for me. I admit, I was a little worried myself toward the end. As much as it appalls me that a simple transportation problem could twist me into this many knots, at least now I know my limits. Independence was a stronghold in my life, and God broke it into a million pieces, forcing me into dependence on Him and those around me. So much of that battle is too personal for me to write about on a public forum right now, but every step has been a new epic of growth, and I wouldn't trade it for a thousand cars (mostly because that kind of income would put me into a higher tax bracket, but I digress).
Since when does the God of the universe care for such minutiae?
Since when does an omnipotent Being concern Himself with loving mortals so completely?
Since when is the Creator and Destroyer of Worlds so tender toward an awkward little girl from College Station, Texas?
I don't know where He got the idea to create and love such imperfection, but I'm sure glad He did.
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