This is not going to be a depressing entry, I promise, despite the next sentence.
Today, I watched a woman being told she had cancer.
The way she handled it was incredible to watch. There was no horror, there was no self-pity or blaming. She maintained a serene smile and calmly told the doctor that she didn't want chemo or radiation, that she would rather go out with some dignity.
I am such a wuss.
I cannot believe the tranquility with which she heard the news of her impending death. The simple vocalization of the word "cancer" makes me flinch like a gunshot or an explosive round of profanity. I am not afraid of death, but what might precede death in that case is enough to make me quail.
I want to be her when I grow up.

In other news, I've made the decision to move to the morning shift. Perhaps blogging will become more frequent. Regardless, it will be a nice change to actually get to play with my friends before they have to go to bed.

Stand up straight! Get that mud off your pants!

My mom has taught me quite a few things through the years that have stuck with me. She never harped on wearing clean underwear thankfully, but she doled out a few of her own pearls. Don't put knives in murky dishwater, turn off the breakers in the event of an electrical fire, don't trust skunks, no matter how cute they are. One of them is this: "Don't come to work looking like you've just rolled out of bed. Straighten your hair, put your makeup on, iron your clothes. Don't just be hygienic. Look NICE. Your patients have no choice but to trust you with their lives. If you're too lazy to make yourself look good before you leave the house, how do they know you won't be too lazy to care for them properly?"
I am not a very girly girl, but something about that particular piece of advice stuck with me. I now rarely even leave the house without makeup, let alone go to work. It also affected the way I act with my patients. They see a more reserved, sweeter, and more polite person than my friends usually see. I am at my best at work, because I need the people there to trust me with their lives. I am my profession's calling card.
The Psalmist David spoke of being saved out of the pit for His name's sake. "What good will it do You if I go down into the pit? Will the dust praise You?" He says over and over that we are saved from disaster and given mercy because we are His children. But we are also saved because our salvation brings glory to Him. When we thrive, and tell an unbelieving and hurting world that we are thriving because of His grace, they begin to want what we have.
We are God's calling card. When we spread His word, we are asking others to take a leap of faith and surrender their lives to a God that they can't see, feel, or hear. The only thing they have to go by is us.
This is not to say we have to be perfect. To the contrary, it is how a believer handles MISTAKES that set them apart from nonbelievers. This means that we don't have the luxury of sulking, bearing grudges, and being angry just because it feels GOOD. We cannot use our newfound strength to judge and condemn those we disagree with. In the process of being made perfect in love, we must learn to love perfectly. That means everyone. That means muslims and white supremacists and murderers and stuck-up WASPS and ghetto girls and smug soccer moms and rough rednecks and giggling pre-teens and EVERYONE. A lot of well-meaning Christians I know seperate themselves from the groups and sub-groups that irritate or unsettle them, saying "I love them, I just refuse to condone their behavior."
News flash, guys. A person's behavior is part of who they are. It has to be faced, addressed, treated as one would treat a wound. If they're going to trust this treatment to someone else, that someone better show a love that says "I'm not going to do anything to make this wound worse. I just want to make it go away so that you can be whole."
We have to act differently if our lives are EVER going to make a difference to a worn and weary world. Girls, be ladies, not just graceful and grace-filled, but active and useful. So many women of God waste all their time chasing after men, thinking that they will never be whole until they have a wedding ring on their fingers. "That special someone" won't fill you up or help you cope or make you whole. That's Jesus's job, and He will do a beautiful job, but only if you let Him. Asking some poor unsuspecting guy to make you spiritually complete is unfair and completely unrealistic.
Guys, man up. Be leaders. Stop backing down from the fight. Unbelieving men do that. It's no longer in your job description to be a pacifist. We girls need you to stand up and be the leaders you were called to be as men. We'll start backing you up the minute we see something to back, I promise.
It's time to let Jesus occupy us and start living life to the fullest. Look your friends, believers and unbelievers in the eye with the confidence that can only come from being perfectly loved, and treat them with the respect and humility that can only come from a forgiven sinner who has been crushed beneath the mercy of a God that, for some unknowable, unfathomable reason, chose us to represent His perfection.