I would like to take a break in my copious expressions of opinion to go over one basic fact that is central to my life and that may help others in their journey.
Nurses are idiots.
I am a nurse. A nurse gave birth to me. I am related to many nurses, and have many more nurses that are friends. I have also seen nurses save countless lives, correct errors made by doctors that could have been fatal, and make ingenious health care decisions. I do not mean that nurses are professionally incompetent. I mean that when we step off that clinical site...we...are...idiots.
I could tell several stories to illustrate my point, all about myself, but allow me to give you one brief, horrifying glimpse into what happens when I am left alone too long by saying this:
When attempting to perform cosmetic surgery on oneself, it is a wise idea to have a styptic pencil nearby to control the copious bleeding that apparently results. I had no such thing handy. Lisa and Corrie will be no doubt delighted by a pile of blood-soaked tissues in the bathroom trash can when they arrive at home. I don't want to talk about that any more.
"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ." -Ghandi
If I hear one more Bible-toting, praise-and-worshiping, Scripture-Quoting, Ichthus-wearing Christian respond to the question "How are you?" with any of the following words, I will instigate physical violence. Consider yourselves warned.
The phrases in question are:
"I'm here."
"I'm surviving."
"Don't ask."
"Ask me on Friday."
"Ugh."
I include myself in this threat. Don't be surprised, friends and loved ones, if you see me slapping myself silly sometime in the next few months.
If there is one thing more pitiful than an apathetic Christian, it is a chronically discouraged Christian.
Tell me something, what unsaved person in their right mind would want to follow a God that, if He doesn't cause a feeling of ennui, at the very least leaves His followers to feel vaguely discontented and dyspeptic their entire lives.
WHAT THE CRAP, MAN?
There is no excuse for a Believer to answer the "How are you?" question with anything less than, "God is good." No matter how things are going, if you believe anything Scripture says, you have no excuse to be answering poorly.
Now, don't misunderstand. Christians have bad days, and they're allowed to have bad days. I'm not saying that you can't express how you feel if you're struggling that day, that week, etc. How else can we solicit the prayers and support of others?
What I'm talking about is people that habitually answer neutrally or negatively to inquiries about their general state of being. Even if they're doing okay, they say one of the Forbidden Phrases listed above to avoid giving the impression that they are too happy. Whether the motivation is a need to feel more spiritual through suffering or just to gain sympathy because you like feeling special....
STOP IT! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!
STOP IT IMMEDIATELY!
CEASE!
ALTO!
HALTE!
ENNNNNNNNNNNND!
I KILL YOU!
You're making Christians look like the rest of the world! STOP! We're supposed to be shining lights, in the world but not of it! We are forgiven, renewed, and heaven-bound. And if the thought of where you're going isn't enough, which it really isn't on the days when you feel like you're not getting there fast enough, don't forget; you have Jesus on your side! If you're not at least a little bit excited about your life today, well, that needs to be addressed immediately!
I would once again ask the reader to keep in mind that I am targeting myself just as much as I am others in this and all posts. I am just as guilty of habitual gloominess as the next Christian, but today I realized that not only is it a drag, it's SIN. Jesus came to give us life, that we might live more abundantly! We are commanded to rejoice! The joy of the Lord is our strength, and some of us are walking around like Spritual Urkels, weak, reedy, and flabby. What is supposed to make someone who is searching for a fuller life look at US and say "gee, I want to be like that!"
SMILE, OR I'LL HIT YOU WITH SOMETHING HEAVY!
I'm going to bed now. I'm becoming cranky.
No comments:
Post a Comment